Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

A Jedi grows up. A scoundrel is rescued. A Happy Ending for all. Well, except for the Emperor.

Some people don't like this movie, and I'm not sure why. The happy ending? The Ewoks? The death of the Bad Guy?

I loved this movie. The good guys won, things were right with the universe. So what if there were Ewok toys?

Luke has matured into a true Jedi, inexperienced maybe, but he's learned how to handle his fears, but maybe not his emotions. I do love his manly act in Jabba's palace. That calm serenity, the certainty that he and his friends will survive, is quite compelling.

Han is a little down at first, certain they're going to die, but he gets back to his old roughish self. Nice trick in impressing Leia by volunteering to lead the Endor strike team. But it's also a sign of his maturity, perhaps brought on by his brush with death. All of them.

Leia is amazing here. From sneaking into Jabba's palace, (I thought that was Lando in the helmet the first time), to accepting Luke's revelations with such serenity. And she's a great shot with a blaster pistol. I definitely want her on my side of the war!

Lando turns out to be a good guy after all, as we suspected in TESB. He just had to be shamed into doing the right thing. I think seeing his buddy Han in the carbonite block woke him up! He finally becomes "responsible".

Yoda dies. Sniff. But hey, when 900 years old you reach, you'll already be dead! It was his time. He lived long enough to see the last of the Jedi trained. I suppose he could have asked Luke to take him to a Medical Center, but I think he was ready to go. "That is the way of things, the way of the Force!"

Obi-Wan appears again, and he's become strong enough in the netherworld of the Force that he can hold a conversation with Luke! No cryptic messages this time. I hope I'm as wise and talkative when I've been dead for a few years.

He's convinced that Luke needs to kill Vader, and I tend to agree. But Luke is more forgiving, and willing to try to save him. He's a little hung up on the father thing, you see. I can't say I'd be as loyal had my father tried to kill me before I was born, but that's just me.

Ewoks. Some people love them, some hate them, and some don't care. I don't care. Lucas said he had always wanted to do a great battle of a primitive culture versus the high tech one. Man vs. the machine. My hubby loves the two logs hitting the walker scene.

The lightsaber duel. Yeah, it was awesome. Again, Luke is a little pacifistic for my taste, but he's so strong emotionally that it works for me. (He's a better Jedi than I am)

I'm not so certain that one last act redeems Anakin, but it was a good start. Had he lived, he would have MUCH to answer for and it's probably better that he dies.

The Emperor gets his just desserts! On a side note, in "Robot Chicken" that's the day he says, "Could this day get any worse?"

This movie is full of rich details that take several watchings to notice. The Rancor keeper's tears, Yoda's blanket, the ships out the window of the Death Star, snakes on Dagobah, the Ewoks playing the drums on the helmets, etc.

I have split feelings on the appearance of the young Anakin at the end of the Special Edition. Where I think the original actor was too old, Hayden Christensen is too young. He might have looked better had they digitally aged him to 45 or so, more realistic. I know the theory that really dies when he falls to the dark side, but he turned back at the end, so he should look like that.

Up next? I have no idea!

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

Darth Vader got cranky in a most impressive way.

The Empire struck back, and we should have expected that!

We all hoped there'd be a sequel to "Star Wars" but had no idea that it would be such a blockbuster!

First, imagine our surprise when "Episode V" pops up on the screen! Sure it was a sequel, but who knew it wasn't "Star Wars 2"?

Han is still hanging around the Alliance, but why? Not for monetary rewards it seems, since the bounty hunters are still after him for Jabba.

So what did he do with all that money he got for rescuing the Princess?

I think he stayed around because being a hero at Yavin sparked his sense of honor. It felt good to be on the winning side, on the right side of things. And, of course, it impressed the Princess.

Leia continues to be a great role model, suffering the inconveniences of living on the run in order to further her cause. She's tough and assertive, and yet lets herself fall for the scoundrel. Nice!

Luke has matured some, perhaps from his time as the hero of the Battle of Yavin. He's stepped up into a role of leadership with the Rebels, and they respect him, probably because of his skill as a pilot.

We saw him use the Force to retrieve his lightsaber in the Wampa's cave, and thought, "how cool!"

It was nice for Obi-Wan to make an appearance, even if he seemed a little transparent. :) I really like the idea that he was still around, and looking after Luke.

Vader breaks all records in evilness, throwing temper tantrums and choking all those who disagree with him. Who wouldn't want that power? And he's devious when it comes to Luke.

Billie Dee Williams gives us a new anti-hero in Lando Calrissian, who calls Han "slimy" but turns out to be slimy himself. But he's good- hearted, and comes around in the end. Was it because the deal got worse, or because he realized what he was doing was wrong?

Yoda is hilarious, in a good sort of way. Fooling Luke like he does. A very important lesson on patience and looking deeper in your situation! And his wisdom continues with us today, how many times have you heard someone say, "Do! Or do not! There is no try."

"There is another!" Oh great, a mystery. I suspected it was Leia, but I also remember thinking that Vader was a big, fat liar with, "No, I am your father!"

What a climax of the lightsaber duel that was! Was it true? Was he playing Luke for a patsy? Somehow Luke seems to think it's true. But join him and rule the galaxy? Nooooooooo!

What gave Luke the strength, at that terrible moment, to deny Vader and risk death instead? Was Obi-Wan with him? It would have been nice for him to whisper something to him at that point.

"If you choose to face Vader you will do it alone, I cannot interfere." Why the heck not? Luke needed you. On the other hand, it was a great test of Luke's character. If he'd been so weak as to follow Vader off to the dark side he might not have been worthy of being a Jedi.

The ending of this film is a shocker, not because of what happens but because of what doesn't happen. We're left hanging! And back in those days, people had to wait three years to find out what happened! Talk about the patience of a Jedi.

Many people consider this to be the best of all the Star Wars movies, or at least their personal favorite. Why is that? Because it's darker? Because it's richer and full of promise? Because of the suspense? Draw your own conclusions!

Up next? Ep. VI!


EDITED FOR TRUTH, May 2012

Star Wars aka Star Wars: A New Hope

Do I dare review the greatest movie ever made? Can I be so bold?

In early 1977, as young parents with a habit of watching late night TV, we saw blurbs on "Creature Features" on KTVU about a new movie coming out called "Star Wars." And, being Sci-Fi fans, we were intrigued!

May 25th came and went, and without a babysitter we had to wait a while before we could go see it. Eventually my sister said, "You have to see this movie!" So, she babysat, and off we went.

It was called "Star Wars" in those days, no "Ep. IV", no "A New Hope", just "Star Wars." And it was amazing. When I saw that ship pass over my head on the big screen, my jaw literally dropped. I've heard many others say this was the defining "Star Wars" moment for them, the moment that hooked them for all time.

Years later Ewan McGregor told the story of going to "the cinema" to see "Star Wars" with his brother and that they were "totally blown away." I can think of no better description!

As Mark Hamill, the love object of my twenties, once said in an interview, "What's not to like?" There's a farm boy, a wizard, a princess in distress, a pirate, a villain, etc. (I'm paraphrasing Mark, here)

And he's right; Star Wars has something for everyone.

The "Story of Star Wars" record album started out with, "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a great adventure took place!" And how true that was. An adventure! A naive and unhappy farm boy has his life changed forever, and embarks upon an adventure without parallel.

He acquires a mentor, and considering that he's just lost his family, it's not surprising that he trusts old Ben enough to follow him off on "some damn fool idealistic crusade". And he's being offered adventure and excitement, a chance to make something of his life.

Luke was overprotected by his uncle, who of course thought he was doing the right thing, but was it up to him to decide Luke's fate? We all have to make our own mistakes!

But Luke is charmed it seems, and his mistakes always turn out all right. We find out later that it's not luck, it's the Force! I love the Force, it fascinates me. Imagine holding all that power in your hand, and only using it for good. No wonder I love Jedi!

Han Solo, the role Harrison Ford almost didn't get. Can you imagine? No, I can't either. I've seen the old clips of screen tests... Kurt Russell? Puleeeze... Harrison gives Han Solo a touch of maturity, compared to younglings Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher, which makes his wise guy and slightly jaded attitude believable.

Chewbacca makes the idea of a non-human sentient totally believable, whether he's wearing pants or not. It never occurred to me to think of Chewie as anything less than human.

Princess Leia, a terrific role model for young girls. Strong, fierce and independent, she's not afraid to do her hair and be feminine, too. A pleasant surprise that's not really expected when our heroes go off to the rescue a damsel in distress.

And of course, we had our villain, Darth Vader. What sort of monster was lurking under that helmet? He gets way more evil in Ep. V, but even without that, we just KNOW he's the bad guy. Bad to the bone.

Peter Cushing was great as the cadaverous Governor Tarkin. "Fear will keep the locals in line!" Well, I wouldn't want those cold eyes staring me down.

And then there was Sir Alec Guinness. The great Obi-Wan Kenobi, hero of the Clone Wars, who is only in half the movie, and yet becomes an icon. Sir Alec gives him an air of dignity and grace in spite of his disheveled appearance. Don't judge that book by its cover!

"For over a thousand generations the Jedi Knight were the guardians of peace and justice in the old Republic." Wow! The possibilities that opened up!

And that final, epic battle, the Battle of Yavin. Whoa, nothing like it. And the good guys win! And the bad guy loses, but gets away to be bad again another day! And boy, did he. More on that tomorrow!

And, by the way, not only did Han shoot first, Greedo never shot at all!

EDITED FOR TRUTH, May 2012

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

The long awaited conclusion! Yes, it's Ep. III! But it completes the saga no matter its number.

Revenge of the Sith, the darkest of the Star Wars movies, and the only one rated PG-13.

The first 25 minutes are fantastic! An epic space battle, two heroes mounting a rescue, a lightsaber duel, an escape foiled and then made, an incredible piece of piloting, and all flavored with an ongoing exchange of wisecracking dialogue.

Then the movie loses me, at least on repeat watchings. This proves my point about never watching the movies on TV. I need the skip forward button on the DVD, because there are too many scenes in a row that are just talking, and Anakin's whining gets on my nerves.

Give me a real man, and Obi-Wan is that. He's the picture perfect Jedi Knight, flawed and yet awesome, as he faces danger and uncertainty to the best of his considerable abilities. And he's even hotter than Ep. II.

Palpatine's evil is SIMMERING, and Ian McDiarmid sets my teeth on edge with his smarmy smiles. They're so perfect! I'm sure I'm not the only person who watches this while saying, "He's LYING! Why don't the Jedi know?"

Of course, the Jedi are hampered by the darkening of the Force, and their own shortsightedness. Master Yoda is old and cranky, and Mace gets too stubborn for his own good. They do kick fanny with the lightsabers, though!

At long last we see the transformation of Anakin Skywalker into Darth Vader, and IMO he gets what he deserves. He betrays his brotherhood, kills his pregnant wife, slaughters innocent younglings, tries to kill his best friend and mentor, and wants to take over the galaxy. A good start to the greatest villain of our time! He was never as heroic as I thought he should have been, but at least he's as EVIL!

The opening sequences and then the ultimate lightsaber battle, that of Obi-Wan vs. Anakin, show the extreme of the light and dark of this film. At the beginning, Anakin and Obi-Wan are the best of friends, like brothers, working as an unstoppable team doing the nearly impossible.

By the end, they are fighting to the death. One betrayed, the other the betrayer. One broken hearted, the other chicken fried, both to suffer until their respective deaths.

It's the journey from the opening to the climactic duel that bothers me. Anakin's reasons for turning seem so weak. Padme would never have wanted him to save her at such a cost, and she says so. Besides, he's not doing it for her; he's doing it for himself. "I can't live without her," he tells Palpy, his new best friend. His only friend.

In the novel, the storyline is fleshed out a little more, and seems a little more plausible. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.

All in all, it's a good movie, and a good conclusion to the saga.

Up next? Do I dare review Ep IV? *The Greatest Movie Ever Made? Maybe. I'll think about it!

* Thanks to Viridian Saber for the edits!

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

Yes, it's Ep. II! What did you expect? Prequel moments! It's déjà vu all over again!

The sequel to the prequel, eagerly awaited by all, or at least by most.

As with Ep. I, the storyline was good, although I found the whole romance a little hard to believe, since Anakin was so incredibly immature. 10 years have passed and Anakin has grown from an annoying little child to an annoying teenager! He makes me glad I don't have any around! Maybe if he's been a little older it would have been a bit more believable. Padme seems like a smart woman, but marrying a man who needs a mommy is not a smart thing to do!

Obi-Wan has grown from a baby faced young man to a hot item! Woo! I was in loooooove. I'd have loved him more if he'd smacked Anakin for smart mouthing, but I suppose it's not the Jedi way. Even the long hair worked for me. Of all the actors in the arena scene, at the end Ewan was the only one out of breath, he looked like he'd actually been in a fight. Nice touch!

Jango Fett is predictably mercenary, just trying to make his way in the universe. "I'll do anything for money," he seems to scream. Boba is just as irritating as a child as he is as an adult.

The Kaminoans were cool looking. The clone scenes on Kamino are great; although we're still not sure just whose side they're going to be on. I always pictured the "Clone Wars" as having been fought about clones, or that the clones were the bad guys. Nice twist, George!

Mace Windu is again badassed, this time at the Geonosian Arena. "This party's over!" The igniting of all those lightsabers was a great moment.

Yoda has grown into a full-blown CGI character, which allows him to have THE MOST AWESOME lightsaber duel we'd ever seen! Dooku cheated to get away, or he'd have been toast!

Padme changed her clothes and hair with every scene, but I have to say she wore them well. Although I'm still trying to figure out how the length and texture of her hair changed back and forth so many times.

AOTC is where I truly fell for Obi-Wan. He was calm and mature throughout, no matter what danger he was facing, even death. Numerous times he faced death. Every time he turned around he was facing death! You're the man, Obi-Wan! (Meet me later and I'll explain!)

Was it just me, or did anyone else get chills when seeing those star destroyers rising into the sky with the Imperial March playing in the background? I just got chills typing this!

I call that a prequel moment, one of those times that takes you back to the OT. I'm thankful I got to see the saga in the order the movies were released; otherwise I'd have missed that.

The wedding? Eh, Padme had a nice dress. But what did you expect? The setting was lovely, but all of Naboo was lovely, so I expected that, too. Nice touch to have the droids there!

Up next? Ep. III!

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace

Original title, no? No? Ok, well it's a review of Ep. I.

Unbelievable, it's been almost 10 years since TPM came out. I admit I wasn't really impressed very much the first time I saw it. But that may have been because I was already in a foul mood because the theater mixed up my ticket purchase and I wasn't in the big-screen theater, and my popcorn was cold.

I did like the story, and the effects, and the lightsaber duels were fantastic! The costumes were amazing, and at last I had JEDI! But pod-racing left me cold, and the cutesy bit of Anakin winning the Battle of Naboo single-handedly was a little much, but on the other hand, it was not much more of a reach of the imagination than a fresh-faced farm boy hitting a small, thermal exhaust port.

Liam Neeson was ruggedly handsome as the maverick Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn. Liam's the only man on earth, IMO, who can make a kilt look sexy (See "Rob Roy"), not even my beloved Ewan can do it that well. He also makes rumpled Jedi robes look sexy. But I digress! His calm and clear delivery of his lines really conveyed the essence of a Jedi master.

Ewan McGregor gave a real life to Obi-Wan Kenobi, one of our most iconic characters. At last Obi-Wan has a back-story! He's real! Well, real as far as the saga goes. So he was young and reckless at one time, just like he said!

Ewan of course was amazingly gorgeous in his equally rumpled robes. I think it would be difficult for an actor to step into a role made famous by someone as accomplished as Sir Alec Guinness, but Ewan (we're on a first name basis) makes Obi-Wan come to life, complete with sweat and tears.

Ian McDiarmid was truly evil-in-waiting as Senator Palpatine, and who doesn't love a badass Jedi like Samuel L. Jackson? Natalie Portman was good as Padme, and Yoda was Yoda, you can't top that.

Jar-Jar was just Jar-Jar. Maybe if my popcorn had been hot, I would have been more in tune to hating him, but he did make me laugh.

Up next? Episode II!

Back from the Edge of the World

It is the end of the world, but you can't see it from here.

* * *

Here on earth we have an expression, often applied to small towns, "It's not the end of the earth, but you can see it from here."

In Star Wars Galaxies, every world has an end, theoretically. And today I was at the edge of Dantooine, but I couldn't see it. I could see way beyond the edge, I could even see enemies there, and throw my lightsaber there, but I couldn't go there.

Then I started thinking about, "you can't go home again." I'm not sure why, but it struck me that home is a very furtive thing in Star Wars. When Luke goes home, he finds his aunt and uncle murdered by the Empire, and realizes he can never go home again.

Han doesn't really have a home, having been raised on freighters for most of his life.

Anakin goes home again and finds his mother dying.

Leia can NEVER go home again, since her whole planet was destroyed.

Obi-Wan and all the Jedi can never go home again after Order 66.

So what is home? Is it truly where the heart is? Or just the place where you hang your hat?

George Carlin said a house is just a place to keep your stuff, and in "Galaxies" it's certainly true. Although I have this habit of always going home before I log off for the night. I just don't like the idea of standing out in the desert or the woods all night long.

One time I logged off in the middle of Kachiro, logged in with my other character, and saw myself standing there. "Twins!" My guild mates said. "Creepy," I said.

I suppose I could live in a Cantina, but that just doesn't seem like home.

So next time I'm at the edge of a planet, I'll remember, I CAN go home. Or at least I should!

Love Among the Jedi

Knights of Hearts and Flowers! And Chocolates!

* * *

Dear Qui-Gon,

Happy Valentine's Day! You're so handsome and manly, I just want to take you away to my secret hideout on Dantooine and feed you chocolates and tea. {sigh}

Dear Luke,

Happy Valentine's Day! You're so cute and have the sweetest blue eyes, I just want to take you away to my secret bunker on Endor and feed you chocolates and... what am I saying? Mara would KILL me!

Dear Obi-Wan,

Happy Valentine's Day! Forget what I said to those other two, you're my number one Jedi. You can use the Force on me anytime!
And may the Force be with us all when it comes to romance!

Greetings from Hoth!

Moon over Lok, or how I learned to love my sunroof.

* * *

"That's not it, bring me the hydrospanner!"

So... after all the troubles I had using commercial space transport on my last trip north, I decided to go by landspeeder this time.

It wasn't without adventure, having sprung a leak in a radiator hose before I even got off Tatooine. Luckily I was close to a town and my traveling companion was able to fix it. Luckily?

"In my experience, there's no such think as luck."

Luckily? Why do people say things like that... if I'd been luckier it would have happened while the SUV was with our nephew the mechanic last weekend, and he could have fixed it. Or if I'd been truly lucky it wouldn't have happened at all.

"It could be worse!"

I suppose it's on the theory that things could always be worse. I could have been stranded in the desert in the height of summer, with no water, with my dehydrated corpse being eaten by scorpions and coyotes, Jawas carrying my SUV off into the twin sunset.

The worst part was the two and half hour delay. But, I ended up with the moon shining through my moon roof over Nevada, so it wasn't too bad.

"There's nothing to see..."

Tatooine didn't have billboards, but wow, does Utah have them. I guess they haven't heard about the highway beautification drive that started back in the 60's. Oh I forgot, the 60's haven't happened there yet. And Salt Lake City must hold the record of the number of bridal related billboards. Of course, it is Utah, the birthplace of the slogan "Marry early and marry often!"

"Any ideas?" "I don't know, where are we?"

Idaho was much better, I only saw one billboard, and although it was huge, it simply said, "buyhashbrowns.com". An intriguing idea, since I like hash browns, and I prefer shopping online to shopping in stores by about a million to one. But what I really prefer is to have my hashbrowns served to me on the side of cheese omelet in Dex's Diner.

The road got messy in Idaho, though. Parts of Interstate 15 looked as if they hadn't been plowed lately. But finally, after climbing a few hills, I crested the continental divide and on the other side was Montana! I swear by the Force that binds us, "Big Sky Country" is not just an expression. On that high mountain plateau, the snow capped mountains around me, that big, blue sky took my breath away. It helps that the air is clean and you can actually see the sky...

"And you said it was pretty here!"

And it is. Today, the last leg of the journey included a trip around Flathead Lake. The water was glistening, the snow fields so bright that I was reaching for my sunglasses and I was already wearing them... frozen ponds, an owl on a phone pole, big birds fishing in the stream... and more of that big blue sky...

I guess Earth travel isn't so bad after all!